Lonely
by 8D.XD.83
Summary: Read description inside only if you have finished Tales of Xillia 2! Major Spoilers! Yaoi, LudgerxJude.
1. Chapter 1

**Description: Eight years after Ludger Will Kresnik became the last catalyst, life seems to have slowed down. Everything's gone back to normal, at least for the rest of the world. But for Jude it's a living hell. Losing his two closest friends, Millia and Ludger has left him feeling more lost than ever. Will he ever be the same again?**

It was a strange feeling. It was, in a word, indescribable. Yes, that was how it was best put. There was no human word for it. It seemed inappropriate to give the strange sensation a word, for to name a word is to give it definition, and how could you define something that was nothing?

This... nothingness. It was so empty. It was as if he was almost floating, and yet he was weighed down at the same time. He was weightless, or maybe just mass-less?  
>He didn't know. He didn't need to know anything. He didn't even need to know how to breathe. Not that he could, anyway. He was not alive, he didn't think.<p>

But was he dead? Was this the afterlife? Being trapped inside one's own mind?

But it was peaceful, it truly was. There was no melancholy, no rancor, no regret, no fears. Nothing, he truly was weightless.

And yet... there were dim memories that sometimes floated to him. What were they? They were odd and made him feel uncomfortable. It made him feel like he was forgetting something.

It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He could finally relax. All the time in the world to just rest. He could figure out the odd feeling later. Nothing mattered. Nothing at all.

* * *

><p>It was a quiet day really. The sun had decided to take shelter above the clouds and probably would not decide to come out anytime soon. People rushed around, going about there business. They were moving so fast. They must be in a hurry.<p>

Jude sighed and glanced down at the chemical test strips. They were taking an awfully long time to dry. "It must be humid out," the young researcher murmurred aloud, "Even though Helioborg is located in the middle of a dry spirit clime, it just had to be humid today. It just had to be..."

Jude heard a few whispers behind him, and he could almost feel their stares on the back of his head. He wanted to just turn around and say 'I'm not deaf, I can hear you, you know.' But it probably wasn't worth the effort.

They were new researchers. They were young and probably didn't know any better. Jude was still pretty young himself, only just twenty-four years old. Not that age mattered too much. Jude had learned that a long time ago.

Jude sighed and glanced disdainfully at the entire extra set of compounds. Only eighty-four more to go. He had originally had three-hundred-and-forty.

He reached across the table he was sitting at and knocked over an entire beaker of 'mysterious liquid on the almost dry test strips. A couple dozen of them.

Jude let out a rather deranged laugh. After all, what could he do? The new researchers must really think he's insane now. Laughing like a lunatic after pouring a dangerous substance all over the table top.

"D- Dr. Mathis!" someone called from behind him.

Jude turned around to see who it was. It was Balan. He had a rather concerned look on his face. 'But why does he care? It's just me who will have to retest all of the papers' Jude wondered vaguely.

"What is it? This?" Jude asked, motioning towards the substance. "I'll clean it up, don't worry." He tried to sound reassuring

"J-J-Jude! Look at your leg!" Balan shouted.

Jude looked slowly down at his leg. It was... smoldering. It seemed to be eating away at his pants-

"Don't just sit there! Come on get those off!" Balan shouted, Yanking Jude to his feet.

Being pulled upright seemed to mobilize hin because in the hext five seconds the acid-burned apparel was thrown acrossed the room.

"Are you alright? What happened!?" Mary, who had just walked in, asked.

"Look at your leg!" Balan nearly shouted.

Jude, feeling more self conscious about being in his boxers now that his life was not endangered, glanced down.

From the top of Jude's left thigh down to his knee was burned flesh, already starting to blister and boil. "Oh my...! I'll get a doctor!" Mary cried, rushing out of the room.

"It... doesn't even hurt," Jude muttered, astonished.

"Well, it sure doesn't look good! Can you feel anything? Anything at all."

The younger researcher thought for a moment before shaking his head. "It doesn't hurt a bit. It's a little numb. I'll be fine, I've been through worse." And then he added silently, 'Much, much worse.'

"Jude. Listen to me." Balan said, grabbing Jude by the shoulders, "You're hurt."

"But this doesn't 'hurt' hurt. Really pain is..." Jude trailed off, unsure of what to say.

One of the new researchers who was fixing the computer walked over to the two. Jude had forgotten they were even there. "I- I can heal him using my spirit artes." the soft-spoken young man said.

"Please do," Balan said, taking a few steps back.

"I can heal my-" Jude started to say, but before he could finish his protest, the young man had already cast his art.

Jude felt sheepish afterwards. He could have- should have done that himself. People were always having to take care of him. The blisters had subsided and instead remained a patch of red, sore skin. "Thank you..." Jude managed to say.

"No problem... Be more careful next time, okay?" the man replied.

There was an awkward silence after that. "Jude..." Balan said carefully, " You've been awfully tired lately. Why don't you take a week off?" Balan said slowly, knowing how Jude felt about taking time off.

"Huh!? No I'm fine! Really, I'll be more careful. Besides, what if someone needs my help." Jude said, almost hastily.

"We can manage a week on our own, right guys?" Balan called out to the crowd in the corner who had been gawking the whole time.

There was an awkward chorus of 'rights'. Yet, Jude was neither impressed nor convinced. "I'm staying here. I don't need time off!"

"You're at least going home for the rest of today." Balan said.

"Why, it's only ten o'clock!"

"Because," Balan said with a smirk, "You're not wearing any pants."

Oh, right.

"Uh... on second thought, I might go. Just for a while." Jude stuttered, his face flushing bright pink.

Jude tried to wrap his lab coat over himself better, and walked out of the room, pride all but shattered.

Balan sighed, "I feel bad for him. He just hasn't been the same since that incident y'know."

"Incident?" One of the researchers asked.

"Yes. When he lost two of his closest friends in a terrible incident. He just hasn't been the same since. He probably won't ever be the same." Balan explained, rather vaguely.

Perhaps he should keep a better eye on him... And call Alvin.

He should definitely call Alvin.


	2. Chapter 2

He could hardly stand it, in a sense. He wanted to feel pain. He wanted it to hurt, he wanted to hurt. It didn't matter how, physically, mentally, even emotionally. He just needed pain. The sharper, the more searing, the better.

After all, wouldn't pain be better than the nothing he felt right now?

He wanted to have the pain be like having a long, jagged, rusty, nail slowly and teasingly driven in the space between the shoulder blades and the neck. That was supposed to be where there are the most nerves, right?

Or even better, if the physical and emotional pain could be combined.

He imagined it: There was the little girl he loved so much; he could not remember her name for the life of him but he knew he loved her. The little girl with the soft brown hair and emerald eyes that seemed so familiar to him. In his mind the little girl seemed upset, almost angry.

She was saying something, but he wouldn't understand what she was saying; wouldn't allow himself to understand what she was saying. After all, it would be more painful this way, right?

In his mind he just stood there and looked at her, sure his expression wasn't changing. And suddenly she was running at him. And though it was all a figment of his imagination, and he though he himself had conjured up such imagination he was shocked at what happened next.

The girl pushed him with all her strength and he fell backwards, right off the edge of a cliff. Of course falling would feel much like how he felt now: free, painless, but maybe not emotionless. He would fall and maybe the girl or someone else would call his name out to him. (Dimly he realized he could not well remember his own name). Or maybe no one cared that he fell, maybe they felt that his doom was well deserved.

But one thing were certain. He would never, ever- no- could never, ever be angry at the little girl. He knew that much was true.

But then he would reach the bottom, and that is where the physical pain would begin. Maybe his back would hit the solid ground first, and his spine would be shattered into thousands of little bits of bone and sinew. Maybe he'd hit his head first and he'd end up looking much like a pumpkin someone had taken out there anger on, with a sledge hammer.

Or maybe he would just be an all around mangled mess of bones and blood and entrails. Surely he would be unrecognizable. And surely it would be all the more painful if his life was drawn out. If he somehow managed to remain alive for a few minutes lr hours or- were days even possible?

He hoped so, he dearly hoped so. After all, the more pain he was in, the more he could feel. And the more he would feel, the less nothingness would remain.  
>If he felt pain, he would finely have some meaning, some definition. He could be something, he could be someone. Pain after all, was human.<p>

And he wanted to be human. He wanted to be human so bad. So bad that it, almost, hurt.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe this. No way!" Jude stared at his GHS in shock. Or rather, at the message Balan sent him. It read 'Don't come in to work today. You're taking a paid vacation. I told security to not let you in."<p>

They couldn't stop him from coming to work! He was a valuable researcher. In fact most of the work they were doing today. He was the one who created the new technology that fueled everything they did.

"Research is my life. It's what I love to do! It's... it's what I live for!" Jude murmured aloud. Then after pausing to think he added, "That kind of sounds like something my Dad used to say. I used to hate how he spent all of his time researching instead of paying attention to me. Maybe... I'm no different?"

Jude frowned at this, then shrugged. "I honestly don't have anything to do besides research."

He really didn't. Jude was currently living in a small house away from the research lab, just outside of Trigleph. There were a few others who lived there, too. It was nice. He could live in more peace and quiet than actually in the city, yet he could walk to the train station and be on time for work at Helioborg.

The house itself was fairly new. It was a simply little cottage that was quaint yet beautiful in its own way. There was only one bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen. Jude had renovated the attic to be somewhat of a miniature library and there was more books than space. But only one person lived there, so why did there need to be more?

'I guess I could spend the whole day studying. It's been a while since I've read over some of Dr. Howe's principles.'

But just as Jude started to head towards his study, there was a knock at the door. Jude looked at the clock. It was only about seven in the morning. "Who visits someone at this hour?!" Jude grumbled to himself.

It was probably someone coming to ask him to heal them, or heal someone else. Jude was the only Rieze Maxian who could preform spirit arts around. Jude seldom allowed visitors, mainly he liked to be alone. In fact, he didn't even get out too much. It had always been that way. When Jude was just a boy he would always stay inside his room and read books. He never went out to play with other children, unless it was Leia. Jude hadn't really been shy, he just... he never really felt connected to people.

Or at least, he thought so until he met Milla Maxwell. She had really opened his eyes about people. Of course, Jude still liked to travel around with his friends, but it just wasn't the same without them. Without Milla and Ludger. After those two disappeared, Jude had never really been the same. He wanted to be with others, but he found himself often returning to his introverted ways.

As Jude fiddled with the lock on the door, trying to get it open the knocking became more vigorous. "Hey let us in!" a familiar voice shouted, just as Jude opened the door.

On the other side stood none other than Jude's childhood friend Leia Rolondo, and Alvin was with her.

"Leia? Alvin? What are you doing here?," Jude asked, surprised, "It's seven in the morning. Couldn't this have waited until later?"

"It's good to see you, too." Alvin said sarcastically.

"You jerk!" Leia shouted, "We haven't seen you in months! Where have you been?! You never come and see us, and when we come and see you, you act like you have something better to do!"

"Well, I have been busy lately but... I'm glad to see you, really!" Jude held his hands up defensively.

"And you rarely return any of my calls!" the reporter stated, placing her hands on her hips, expecting and explanation.

Jude learned something about Leia a long time ago. If you called her or answered one of her calls, you had better have a few free hours to spend. Leia loved talking, everyone knew that. And once she got going she did _not_ stop. In fact, it you even got a word in, it would be a miracle. The reason she talked so much was why Jude had never responded to any of her calls. He just couldn't spend hours on his GHS, and it seemed rude to set the device down and walk away.

"Uh..." Jude, thoughts stumbled, looking for an acceptable reason for not calling his friend.

"He returned my calls." Alvin suddenly said, not making things any better.

"WHAT!?" Leia shouted, suddenly closing the distance between the two, "WHY WOULD YOU ANSWER _HIS_ CALLS BUT NOT MINE?!"

"Uh, hey that's not- uh..." Jude was really in it now. He just hoped the neighbors didn't hear all of Leia's yelling and filed a complaint.

"Anyway-" Alvin said, finally walking in the room and shutting the door, "We were thinking that maybe you would like to come monster hunting with us? Y'know, just like old times."

Except it would never be like old times, not without Milla, not without... him.

"Yeah! Besides, I have to show you this cool move I've been practicing. I haven't had as much time to practice fighting, what with work and all. It will be good to get out and stretch our legs!" Leia said, suddenly changing her mood.

'There's something not right about this.' Jude thought to himself, 'There's something off about Leia, and Alvin too, but it's harder to notice it with him."

Then it hit him. "Wait a minute, how did you guys know I would be off work? I mean, this is a time I normally would be gone and you just so happened to come by my house to see if I was in? Without calling?"

"Well, if someone returned my calls then-" Leia started, but Alvin cut her off.

"Balan called me. He said to make sure you take some time off on your paid vacation."

Jude crossed his arms, puzzled. Why was everyone so concerned with him taking a vacation? "Why does everyone think I need a break?" Jude asked, feeling somewhat frustrated.

"Everyone needs a vacation sometimes, Jude." Leia said, "And this is a good chance to take mine, too!"

"And everyone knows that Mr. do-gooder won't take a vacation unless someone makes him." Alvin put in.

"Alright, I'll go monster hunting with you. Though I still don't know how I feel like fighting things for sport" Jude admitted.

"ALRIGHT! LET'S GO!" Leia shouted, immediately trying to pull Jude out the door.

"Hang on! Let me get my stuff first!" Jude said, pulling away. "It will only take a minute. Make yourselves at home."

As Jude walked off into his room, Alvin sighed. "Man, he really isn't the same, is he?"

Leia shook her head, "No, I really miss the old Jude. He used to have such determination. Now it just seems like he's drifting from one thing to the next."

"And to think it's all because of the incident, six years ago."

"It feels like forever ago, doesn't it?" Leia commented.

"Yeah, it does for us. But it probably still feels like yesterday for him." Alvin said, looking in the direction Jude left.

"Why do you say that?" Leia asked.

"It's because he hasn't moved on yet. I kind of understand what he's going through."

"Well then, let's just make sure he get's moving on then! You can't change the past." Leia said with sudden conviction.

"Hm, I guess we will." Alvin said with a small smile.

After a few more minutes, Jude walked out of his room. "Okay, now I'm ready." he said.

Leia rolled her eyes, "What took you so long?"

"I had to find my old bracers. I haven't used these in a while." Jude said, looking at the worn pieces of leather and metal.

They were a nice pair of braces. They had lasted Jude a long time. The last battle he had with them had not been kind to them thought. The last battle... the one with Bisely Bakur. He wore these the last time he saw-

Jude shook his head, trying to get the thoughts out of his head. He couldn't get distracted now.

"Well, off to the Rusalle highroad." Alvin said, heading out the door, "Come on, you don't want to be late."

"Late for what?" Jude asked, having a sinking feeling he wasn't going to like this.

"You'll see." Alvin said with an odd grin.


	3. Chapter 3

**I've had to rewrite this part so many times...**

* * *

><p>"We're almost there now! Just a little while longer!" Leia chanted, practically prancing across the dry land.<p>

The highroad certainly hadn't changed much since the first time Jude set foot on it. It was a barren wasteland with a few monsters scattered throughout. Mainly the only plant life to be seen was a sparse shrub. Or, if you were lucky, you'd find a whithered, dry tree covered in lots of knobs that made the trunk and branches appear to have a face.

But, never had the highroad seemed so... dark before. The first time Jude had been here, he had been out to dispel the schism. And sure, it was a grim time, but he had something then that he didn't have now. All of his friends- Well that wasn't entirely true. He hadn't met HIM yet.

Time itself seemed to slow for Jude, as if he could still remember tne time the came here together. They had just met. They were both heading towards the Helioborg research center, where they met up with Alvin. That was when their real adventure had started. Back before things took a turn for the worse.

"Hey, wait up!" Jude called out, having fallen behind. "Where are we going?"

Alvin flashed an evil grin. "Hey, I thought we said you'll see when you get there?"

"Yeah but..."

"But what?" then Alvin feigned a dramatic gasp, "Don't tell me you've spent so much time indoors that you can't even walk the length of the highroad anymore?"

"That's not true. I mean, I do spend a lot of time indoors, but I could walk the lenght of this road and back easy!" Jude stated, feeling a little peeved.

"Both of you better hurry up if we don't want to be late." Leia called back, waving her arms.  
>"Alright, we're coming." Alvin called back, "Come on Jude. Let's not keep the lady waiting."<p>

But Jude wasn't listening anymore. To them, anyway. '_Something's not right here_.'

"Uh... guys?" Jude stopped in his tracks, "Isn't it a little... too quiet?"

The trio all paused for a minute and listened. "Well, it's always this quiet, isn't it?" Leia broke in after a moment of silence.

"No, I mean normally you can hear the montster running around, or calling to each other or something. But this is just... dead silent." Jude waved his arms around, hoping to get his point across.

"I don't know, just because the mon-"

"JUDE, LOOK OUT!" Alvin suddenly shouted, pulling the other out of the way as a wolf pounced out from behind some brush.

But instead of attacking like everyone expected, the monster kept running, heading in the direction they came from.

"Wow, Alvin. You really saved me there. Thanks." Jude said, feeling somewhat embarrassed.

"No problem. But you kind of saved yourself, if you think about it. I sure as hell didn't notice anything was wrong."

"Aw man!" Leia stamped her feet, glaring in the direction the monster fled. "We didn't get to fight it! Man, it sure is a slow hunting day, huh?"

The trio watched as the monster slowly disappeared into the distance, leaving a trail of dust behind him. "He sure is in a hurry to get to where he's going." Alvin commented.

"Do you really think the monster had somewhere to be?" Leia asked, eyes widened.

"Who can say, maybe he had to catch a meeting."

"Wait, he didn't actually have to go anywhere, did he?!" Leia said, after she caught on that he was just joking.

Jude stared for a while, not really listening to the two behind him. _What's going on here? It's so quiet, and that monster was all by itself, too. Wolves normally travel in packs. That one was all by itself. Hey, wait a minute..._

"Guys, I think we should get out of here." Jude said with sudden urgency.

"What do you mean?" Alvin asked, glancing around, "It seems pretty calm here."

But before Jude could explain further there was a loud roaring from off in the distance. Well, it wasn't THAT distant. In fact, it was rather close.

Too close.

"Uh guys, what was that?!" Leia said, clutching her staff in front of her.

"I think that monster was running away from something. Probably a much larger, much fiercer monster." Jude explained.

Alvin smirked, "And it's headed this way? Great, just our luck."

"Hey, here it comes!" Leia pointed in the distance.

It was hard to see because of the huge cloud of dust that surrounded it. It was at least the size of a small house though and with each step it took the very ground beneath the trio's feet seemed to tremor. As the beast neared Jude could see it better. It had two large tusks protruding from under a large flat looking snout. Its legs wear short and the creature itself had rather a lot of girth. The creature looked more fat than wiry but it probably had just as much muscle.

"I think... I think it's a boar of some sorts." Jude said, his voice calm, almost monotone.

This was why he didn't like fighting. He had never liked fighting in the first place, it was brutish and relied on pure strength and force. Fighting never solved anything, did it? It just created even more fighting. Of course, it never helped when the thing that they were fighting was rather life threatening a dangerous.

Where was the thrill in almost dying. "_I knew something like this would happen,_" Jude thought bitterly to himself.

"Should we run or should we stay and fight it?" Alvin asked, already drawing his blade.

"Fight it! We can't very well let a monster this size run free to do whatever he pleases! What if he got so far as to reach Trigleph?" Leia said, already getting ready to move into position.

"How are we going to stop it?!" Jude pointed out, "It'll likely just crush us and keep moving."

But Jude needed to fear not, for soon after such words left his mouth the monster began to slow, it's snout sniffing the air vigorously, smelling something other than plants it could eat. The monsters beady eyes scanned around the highroad, searching for the source of the smell. Once it spotted the trio it wasted no time trotting over to the source of flesh.

"I'll try and attack it from behind!" Alvin suddenly shouted, suddenly launching into action.

"Come on Jude! Let's link together and attack it's front!" Leia shouted, not leaving Jude with the option to say no as she rushed forward, smashing the creature's jaw with an upward strike.

Of course, the creature seemed little fazed by this. In fact it might be like a pesky little fly swarming around one's head. Annoying, but not exactly lethal.

The boar shook its head back and forth, stomping its monstrous hooves, kicking up dirt and dust making it hard to see and breathe. The three tried to cover there mouths and eyes. The monster then took that opportunity. To try and crush Leia in its jaws. "Watch out!" Jude called, but he did not have to worry, Leia was always quick to think on her feet and had moved to the left side of the boar's flank.

Jude tried hitting the creature at the base of its neck. It didn't even seem to notice. In fact, it didn't even seemed to know where he was at. "Hey Leia," Jude called to his companion, "I don't think it can see very well, or here for that matter! I think it only relies on its scent of smell.

"So what your telling us is that if we make it so it can't smell, we'll have a much better chance and demobilizing this thing?" Alvin said, seeming to appear suddenly and Jude's side.

The monster looked between the two men and Leia, as if trying to deside which delicay he wanted to dine on first. The beast again lunged for Leia, as she was standing alone. Leia only barely missed being skewered on the end of one of its sharp tusks. The boar had become faster, having become angry that he couldn't seem to catch anything. "UH GUYS?! SAVE THE CHATTER FOR LATER!" Leia shouted, taking another swipe at the creature.

"Right!" Jude said, running forward and planting a vicious kick on the creatures nose.

This was easy. As much a Jude hated fighting, there was one bonus that nothing else seemed to have. And that was it completely distracted his thoughts. No matter what Jude was doing, his thought always seemed to wander. He always reminisced about the past. Back in the days when the entire group was together. Back when everyone could be happy just to be in company. Back when Millia hadn't become Maxwell yet, and Ludger hadn't...

It didn't matter. Because if it mattered now, it wouldn't matter in a second when he was dead. If he let his thoughts stray from the fight at hand, he would be dead. And what was worse is he could take Leia and Alvin with him. And they still wanted to live. It would be wrong to bring them down just because he couldn't get his head out of the clouds. Jude knew that.

That's why he had to win this battle. To start over.

To begin life anew.

And for the first time in several years, Jude felt the the strong resolve he used to feel on a regular basis. All of the energy had been building up inside of him, and it lead to him smashing his bracer square in the monster's snout.

Jude did not see the creature when he hit it, but the sound of ripping cartilage was enough to tell him that he had done it.

"Yeah Jude! That's it!" was all that he hear before the creature roared in pain, flinging its head back, causing Jude to fall over.

Blood spurted from the ripped snout of the beast, spraying Jude in the dark warm liquid from head to toe. The nose had split straight of the middle, completely bashed in.

"Time to move!" Alvin shouted, dragging the other to his feet, pulling him away from the boar. And it was a good thing too, because just in that moment the creature reared up, starting to rampage.

Even though the creature was of another species, the pain and rage was evident on its face. The feeling of triumph and resolve Jude had felt before dissolved and melted away. _The only time I can feel good is when I can hurt something...? This isn't right. We shouldn't take pleasure in this..._

"It's not over yet!" Alvin said, snapping Jude out of his thoughts. It certainly wasn't over yet. The creature kicked its hind legs backwards, flipping over a boulder Jude had previously thought was firmly lodged in the ground.

"It's really mad now!" Leia shouted, trying to land a good hit on the raging monster.

Suddenly the monster scrunched together, muscles coiling under its pelt. It was visibly tensing, getting ready to run. The creature seemed to be aimed straight for the two men. Alvin jumped to the side, leaving Jude to stand dazed.

Jude had never been fast. There was no way he could jump out of the way in time. But he certainly did try. The creature had moved so fast, Jude almost didn't see it as it launched across the distance between the two. It was a good thing Jude did jump to the side. A few inches over and the tusk would have pierced his heat. Instead the sharp ivory tusk sliced straight through Jude's sighed.

Jude screamed in pain. Leia and Alvin both called out to him and rushed forward to help, but neither could reach him in time. The creature opened its maw to eat his pray. He could not smell, but he knew he had hit something. It didn't mater what it was, it would pay with its life.

_"It's fitting really, the one that caused him to go berserk should be the one to pay with his life." _Jude thought, time seeming to have slowed, _"But, I regret nothing. I'm okay with dying. As long a Alvin and Leia have enough sense to run after this. This is better than how I was going to go before, with a book curled in my hand, slowly and painfully rotting to death. This is more noble, a much better death."_

But the pain of being bit never came. Jude looked up. There was a two streaks of metal. Familiar in a way that could only mean dual blades. _No, it can't be...!_

There was only one person in the entire world with that fighting style. Jude knew it so well, and yet he had not seen it in years.

The creature suddenly gave a halfhearted wail as its jugular was slashed open. Blood spurted from the wound, splashing the ground and surrounding area with the dark, red blood clots and a piece of vein that was about the size of Jude's entire arm.

And standing on top of the the monster, was the proud slayer of the beast, looking as perfect as always.

Elle Mel Martha.


	4. Chapter 4

Elle Mel Martha stood atop the recently felled boar. Jude felt an odd sensation rise up in his chest. It was... disappointment? But why was he disappointed? He had just been saved from a terrible monster._ '__You know why you're disappointed.', _a voice whispered inside of his head_, 'You just won't admit it's not him.'_

"Well, that was certainly a very close call," a voice said behind Jude.

The youth spun around, then immediately regretted doing so. Jude's side was severely wounded. "Damn it... I forgot about that," Jude gasped, having momentarily been unable to feel pain from the adrenaline and shock he had received. But now that he could feel again...

"Agh...!" How much of his side had he lost? Jude risked a glance. The wound stretched all the way from Jude's shoulder down to his hip. The wound wasn't too deep, but it was wide and a large expanse of skin had been scraped off. After Jude had looked the pain seemed to increase ten-fold. It was as if his mind had not yet registered the full amount of pain he should be in, until he saw the wound with his own eyes.

"What's wrong? Still in shock?", Rowen held out his hand, about to offer to help the other up before realizing what was wrong.

The other hadn't changed much. Rowen had a few more wrinkles and he seemed more aged overall, (as everyone seemed), but there was a certain life in his eyes that hadn't died, even after all this time. _'He seems to have to become even more active than before!' _Jude thought.

The last time he had seen Rowen had been a year ago, when the entire group had been invited to Alvin's for a reunion. Apparently, Rowen had taken to reading over treaties between Elympios and Rieze Maxia. Rowen always checked them to see if there were any tricks or laws trying to be passed on the sly. Mainly he was a head figure for peace between the two nations. Even in his old age, he still seemed to be as busy as ever. Several of the group members wondered if he was pushing himself too hard, but he always assured them that what he was doing was well worth the effort.

Jude heard a girl's voice, one he didn't quite recognize through the pain. "Hey hang on! I'll heal you! Hold still, okay?".

There was a flash of light, and the pain began to fade. Slowly ebbing away, as if the cut was only minor and not at all fatal. But as with one of the side effects of magic, Jude began to feel numb. The world around him began to spin and he could not focus. _"Where... am I?", _he wondered vaguely to himself, _"And what's going on...? Where did all these people come from...? Oh, it doesn't matter..."_

"Jude, Jude come back to us, okay?" another voice said. This one was easy to recognize, he had heard it his entire life.

"Leia...?" Jude muttered, trying to grasp what was going on.

His childhood friend had seemed to miraculously appear by his side in an instant. There was a look of deep concern on her face, that much Jude could tell. But why was she so worried? Wasn't the giant monster defeated? Normally at a time like this Leia would already be celebrating. Or, at the very least, passing around a cheery congratulations to the rest of the group members.

"What happened here...? It seems that I am late." said a deep voice.

This voice Jude could also not recognize. The voice seemed a little familiar but the scientist could not place where he heard it. Little black patches of darkness filled his eyes and danced all around his vision. He couldn't see to well, and all the motion was make him dizzy. Jude opted to instead close his eyes tightly shut, preferring total darkness over a dizzying colors.

"Come on Jude, stay with us!" said a high pitched girlish voice, there was another flash of bright light, and this one seemed to alleviate even more pain.

Soon after words, Jude's head began to clear and his thoughts seemed to slow down and come to him in small pieces. There had been a battle, he knew that. And they had won. And before that... _'Oh, that's right,' _Jude thought, _'I was stabbed in the side. That must have been where the pain was coming from. How could I forget?'_

Jude slowly opened his eyes. The light out was not to bright, thanks to the cloudy cover of the sky. Jude only had to blink his eyes a few times to adjust to the amount of light that they were receiving. He looked around him. His head was laying in someone's lap. Leia's? A group of familiar faces surrounded him. Leia and Alvin were there of course. But then there was Rowen, Elize, Teepo, Elle and even Gaius. "What... are you guys doing here?" Jude formed the sentence slowly, as if unsure of what he was saying.

"Jude, you're alright!" Leia exclaimed, her face showing her relief.

"We were so worried about you!" Elize said, lightly grasping the edge of Jude's coat.

"Yeah, I thought you were done for, for sure!" Teepo added, floating closer to him.

Rowen and Gaius shared a look that confused Jude even more. "Perhaps we should explain..." Rowen said, glancing off, probably at the giant corpse of the beast.

"Aw... nothing ever goes as planned. This wasn't how it was supposed to be." Elle said, crossing her arms and looking somewhat disappointed.

Jude sat up to take a better look at the young girl. It had been a while since they had seen each other, since they last met at the reunion. If at all possible, she seemed even taller than the last time they met, and even more like her father. Though, Jude quickly glanced away as soon as their eyes met.

Jude felt a pang sadness inside of his chest. He like Elle, he really did. And he loved to spend time with her. But every time Jude saw her, or looked into her emerald green eyes- especially into her eyes- he couldn't help but be reminded of Ludger. Back when he was still alive, and back when Elle was a little girl.

_'I'm being to dramatic,' _Jude scolded himself, feeling guilty and more than a little ridiculous. _'Ludger's gone I know that. And Elle can't help that she looks like him. And not only that but she just saved my life, I would certainly be dead if it weren't for her quick action.'_

"Elle, thank you for saving me," Jude said, looking into the younger girl's eyes, "I mean, I definitely wouldn't be here right now if you hadn't been there..."

Elle gave a giant, proud smile. "Hey, there's no need to thank me!" she said, "After all, what kind of a person lets there friend get eaten by a giant monster?"

_'She thinks of me as a friend...? Even after all I've done to her. Or rather, all I haven't done with her?" _the researcher wondered.

"That was some fine swordsmanship," Alvin said, trying to ease up the still somewhat tense air, "Where did you learn moves like that?"

"From you guys, mainly," Elle said, before she added "I practice a lot, too! In fact, I bet I'm even stronger than you now, Alvin. I'll have to show you my true skill later."

"Oh my, was you killing that monster over there not the best of your abilities? Well, your still no match for me though. I've been practicing for much longer." Alvin pointed out.

"That's because your so old!" Elle countered.

Alvin visibly flinched and Elize giggled. "Some of us get better with age." Rowen said, with a reminiscing look on his face.

Jude began to try to get to his feet, and Leia helped him the rest of the way up. His legs were still stiff and very sore. Not to mention his side throbbed in a very unpleasant way. It was not exactly painful, but whenever a wound that big healed there was bound to be side affects. Not even magic was perfect.

Jude looked around at the others, still confused as to why everyone was together. The others were still on the subject as to when someone's prime age of fighting was. Jude cleared his throat a little, partially trying to get the others attention, and partly because he felt pretty terrible. Everyone looked over at Jude, the other subject easily forgotten. "You guys still haven't explained why you're here. I mean, it's nice to see you but this is far from coincidental," he pointed out, crossing his arms.

Jude did not like to be the last in on something. Sure he didn't gossip a lot, or anything of the sort. But he did hate feeling misinformed. He had to know everything; thus why he was a researcher. "Did you not inform him where we were meeting?" Gaius said, looking at Leia, and then Alvin.

"Well, we wanted in to be a surprise!" Leia said, before turning to Jude, "We heard you had been feeling pretty down lately, so me and Alvin called everyone so we could all meet up! We thought we could all do something together, like in old times. Cause... y'know... everyone really misses you and you never come and see any of us. You're always so busy with work and stuff..."

"Yeah! We really missed you!" Elize said, backing Leia up when Jude didn't say anything.

"Friends gotta stick together forever..." Teepo said, growing a sad look on his tiny, cloth face.

Jude felt more guilt rise up from the inner depths of his being. The guilt had always been there, it was just before this moment Jude could hide it by occupying himself with work or other activities. But now he couldn't hide from his feelings anymore.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know you guys felt this way," Jude said sincerely, "I always figured you guys were too busy to do something. I don't like bothering people... But at the same time it was foolish of me for ignoring you guys. Sorry..."

"Don't be sorry!" Leia shouted suddenly, throwing her arms up, "Just start hanging out with us! You can't change the past but now that we're all here let's do something!"

"Yeah!" Elle said, looking equally as eager.

"Maybe we should let Jude, and Elle too for that matter, get cleaned up a bit." Rowen mentioned, glancing at the two from head to toe.

The two mentioned slowly looked themselves up and down and then at each other. They were both covered in blood, none of it dried. Jude had it worst, his light colored coat drenched through with the thick, dark, red substance. Elle's button up shirt was covered in a spray of the blood too, but the rest of her seemed to be spared. "Jude, I think you're going to want to take a shower when you get home." Elize said, glancing up at the top of Jude's head.

Instinctively the other reached up to feel what it was that was caught in his hair. It felt wet and when his pulled it off of him it made a squelching sound. Jude dropped the thing on the ground with disgust. "I hate hunting." he said, "I really do."

* * *

><p>This was getting ridiculous there were too many! And they were all trying to say something at once. Some were trying to talk directly to her. Others were talking with each- or rather fighting with each other. Couldn't they see this was never going to work if they kept this up?<p>

The spirits crowded around Milla, relentlessly suffocating her. Honestly, how could they expect her to do anything if they didn't give her a chance to even properly her what they were saying? Milla looked around, trying to look for something to help her calm them down.

Efreet, who would normally yell for everyone to shut up and behave right now was busy fighting Undine, who's calm and cool nature Milla often relied on to keep things relaxed. Of course Sylph was never good with these kinds of things, (the spirit always was kind of an airhead). Gnome wouldn't help because he didn't socialize with others if he could avoid it.

Milla looked over at Muzét and the other shrugged. Then again, Muzét probably wasn't the best one to get to help. After all, if the spirit had her way, the lesser spirits would all get their asses kicked and rile up some bigger, more powerful spirits.

Milla raised up one of her hands, signalling for them to get quiet, "Please, remain calm," she tried. A few listened, and looked at her expectantly. Most however, did not.

So she would have to try a different tactic "SHUT UP!" she screamed as loud as she possibly could.

Well, that certainly got their attention. "I need you all to listen to me if we're going to get through this." she said, motioning for everyone to back up a little. And back up they did.

"If you ask me, they've crossed the line this time." Celsius, the spirit of ice, said, "The humans said they were going to ask for our help, not take it by force."

"Celsius, please," Milla said, feeling he urge to send the other away, "For the most part, the humans have cooperated with us. Let's not let one bad napple rot the rest of the the bushel."

"What?" one of the spirits murmured, not familiar with the human saying that Milla used.

"What I mean is, we should try and focus on keeping a good relationship with humans," she explained.

"And so we should also get rid of the rotten ones, so that the rest do not turn bad as well." Muzét said suddenly, a very sadistic look crossing her face.

"That's not exactly what I was going for..." Milla muttered, not wanting her sister to get a chance to 'purge' the planet of humans, evil or not.

"Then what are we going to do?" Aska, the spirit of light, asked, "And I think I speak for everyone here when I say we will not stand to be oppressed again."

There was a chorus of muttered agreements. Some of the spirits jostled each other around, seeming to already be looking for a fight.

_'I would like to solve this matter myself, personally,' _Milla thought, hating having to stand by and watch others resolve issues that she thought were hers,_ 'Unfortunately my time in the human world would be severely limited, even if I did manage to go. I need to send some one reliable, someone who's very used to dealing with humans. It might not hurt to also be good in a fight, if it comes to that. But most of all, I need to be someone I can trust.'_

Suddenly, an odd idea came to Milla. "Wait, I have something," she said suddenly, making all of the spirits return their full attention to her, "It may seem odd at first, and very impossible. But if it does work, I have a feeling that very soon we will be able to regain Volt. But you need to listen very carefully and do not interrupt me. Please hold all questions, until the end."


	5. Chapter 5

He didn't know now to explain it. It was so sudden, he didn't know how to explain it. He didn't know why it had happened, how it had happened or when it had happened. It just... did. After what must have been eons of nothingness, it had happened.

And the sensation was far from pleasant. The man felt like he was being ripped into tiny pieces, and then being resewed back together. He felt the envelopment, if it could be called that, around him. It was crumbling, dissipating, falling apart.

It wasn't a good feeling. It was, in a way, like he was being recreated. Reborn. He was in a sense, like a newborn infant after all. He wasn't sure who he was or were he was at. He couldn't think straight. He was helpless; defenseless against those who might want to hurt him. His survival depended on whoever brought him into this world.

But was it a world? Although the man was outside of the nothingness, he couldn't tell much. He felt very vulnerable and uncomfortable. The spinning-out-of-control sensation had faded away. Suddenly there seemed to be matter around him. An atmosphere. Even the air around him felt very different than the dullness that had been around him before. But the stuff around him seemed to be harsh and corrosive to his tender, almost raw, skin.

He couldn't see anything, and there was a strong ringing in his ears. He felt very cold and wanted to draw his limbs in closer to his body. But his whole body ached. It wasn't a very sharp or painful aching he felt. Instead it was a very slow, throbbing fatigue that spread throughout him. He didn't know why but he was pretty sure he had felt the same way before, somehow. He felt as heavy as lead and knew he couldn't move. He didn't even try to move his muscles. That would have to wait until he could gain more energy.

He then noticed an odd sensation. It was a heavy feeling, one that was dragging him down. It was as if the force was constantly pulling him, holding him. Yet, it wasn't an unpleasant feeling... it didn't hurt at all. In fact, it seemed kind of... familiar. Like it was something he had felt before and missed. In fact, it was like a long lost friend. The sensation reminded him of being alive. What was that feeling again? Was it gravity? Or something more?

As time went on, more the man began to notice more things around him. His tender skin was rubbing against something. Something soft, and warm. His skin was so tender though, it kind of chafed him. He could also feel the air around him, the temperature of it. The air was mildly warm, and very still. There wasn't a breeze where he was at, or any ventilation. It gave the room a stuffy feeling, but he could still breathe alright.

He then noticed that everything seemed so bright. He hadn't even opened his eyes yet and the light still seemed almost blinding! Was it daytime, wherever he was? Or were there just lights in the room he was in? If he was in fact, in a room. The light seemed to be coming from above him, and strongly from his left side. The right side of his face was slightly colder, too. The man began to think to himself _'The sunlight must only be hitting the left side of my face... Is there a window here? So I am in a room, which means...'_

He was out of the nothingness! Finally! Finally, after that eternity of suffering, he was free. He could feel again. Even if he could never move from here it was a sight better than absolute nothingness! The sunlight, the warm air, even the somewhat uncomfortable chafing of his skin was welcome. As long as he was whole again. No- even being part of something was better than being nothing.

The man felt overjoyed. He had finally gotten it back... his feeling. He didn't know why he had lost it, or why he had wanted it back again but he finally had it! And he was going to make sure he wouldn't lose it again. If... he could. To be honest, he didn't know if he could do anything yet. But he had to try...

A few minutes later something odd tingled the man's senses. Was his hearing back, too? It was the sound of something quiet. He couldn't tell what, but the noise was getting progressively louder. For some reason, he had this instinct, this feeling, that the noise was a person walking.

Where they coming to see him?

The man didn't have to wait too long before his question was answered. After a few more seconds, the door of the room he was in opened. Or at least, he was pretty sure it was a door. _'The sound's coming in my right ear, so they must be in that direction.' he thought, vaguely._

The man heard the door close again and heard the person walk up to his right side. The person was pretty close to him.

"It seems like everything went okay... You should be fine, in a few days." a low, but feminine voice said.

The man recognized the voice. He knew that voice, knew the person who it belonged to! He just had to, it was too familiar to just be a stranger. But where had he heard it before? Had he had a life before this one, and had the two known each other? Where they friends? Family? Maybe something more? Or were they enemies? No, they probably weren't enemies. When she had spoken, there wasn't any venom or hatred in her tone. And after all, she was probably the one who had brought him back.

"You don't have any of your memories back yet," the woman said, "It's not like I'm holding them out on you on purpose. Really, I'd rather you just have them back as soon as possible, too. But if I gave to you now, your body and mind would become overwhelmed and you'd probably become insane. But then again, with your willpower and ability to overcome obstacles, you'd probably be fine. You never cease to amaze me. But still, we should be patient and wait. It will be easier this way, I promise."

_'I have... memories? So that means I was alive! But how did I lose them in the first place? Did I die? But... how did I die? Did I even die? I don't know what the afterlife is like, was that nothingness the afterlife? No... I don't think it was. I think that was something different. But I feel like I went there and was supposed to stay there. There was so much finality to that place. I almost feel like cheating... being here again."_

"You know, even though you have shown me any kind of recognition that you're listening at all, I feel that you are," the woman said, after a moment of silence. "I just get this feeling that you always know what's going on around you... somehow. But even if you could respond, I feel like you wouldn't. You never did feel the need for verbal responses. But to be honest, I like you better this way. You're much less annoying than everyone out there. There's been a problem and everyone's throwing a big commotion over it. They won't leave me alone about it..."

The woman walked over around the space where the man was laying, in what he presumed was a bed, over to the other side of the room. He imagined her stopping in front of the window and glancing out of it. Looking at the outside world. In fact, he was sure she stopped in front of the window, because there was now a shadow on his face in the place of where sunlight had once been.

The woman sighed. The sigh did sound frustrated, like one might expect it to be. It sounded tired, and worn out. It was the sound of someone who had probably been pushed a little too far. "I really wish I could stay in here," she said after a few minutes, "But really I've already been here for too long. The others probably will be at each others' throats before too long... It's so peaceful and quiet in here though. It's just the right place to read a book..."

But then woman walked back over to the door. But before she walked out of it she paused for a moment, and turned to say something. "I have to go now and make sure no one does anything stupid. But don't worry about a thing, okay? I need you to get better... And YOU need you to get better. So, get better soon. Okay, Ludger?"

And that was all she said before she walked out of the room.

But the man barely paid attention to that, only what she had said. _'Did... did she just call me Ludger? That's... that's my name!'_

And it was the first thing he was sure of in a long time.

* * *

><p>"He really does live in a small house, doesn't he?" Alvin commented to the others, glancing around at the others.<p>

After the battle with the giant warthog, the group had returned to Jude's home. Jude was in desperate need of a bath, and the others didn't want to leave him alone quite yet. The researcher had first asked if Elle wanted to bathe first, seeing as she too was covered in... monster matter, but Elle declined. She had wanted to wait until she could have a change of clothes. But to be honest, the blood didn't seem to bother her too much.

"Well, he probably is only comfortable living in this small of a place." Leia pointed out, "I mean, can you imagine if Jude lived in a giant mansion all by himself? He wouldn't know what to do with himself! Now as for me on the other hand..."

Leia had begun describing her dream home to Alvin, who tried to explain to her being rich wasn't all it was cracked up to be, but the other's had something else on their mind. "How often does Jude have any visitors?" Gaius asked, "I myself cannot visit so often as I have my duties to see to. Has anyone else kept in touch with him?"

Everyone was silent for a while, before Rowen said, "I don't believe anyone has been seeing him lately. He's drawn away from us as he's gotten older. I believe he feels like he's responsible for everything and anything bad that's happened, no matter how impossible it was for him to prevent."

"He seems to really draw away from us too. Think about the last time we all got together. He would barley talk to us, and while everyone was telling stories and having an overall good time he just seemed like he couldn't wait until it was over. Not to mention that he was late to arrive to the reunion which is was very odd of him. He's usually so punctual." Gaius pointed out, thinking to the last time they had tried to spend time together.

"That's terrible! Is there anything you think we can do to help?" Elize asked, feeling bad herself for not taking the time to come and see Jude.

Everyone was quiet again before Elle suddenly jumped up from the wooden chair she was sitting on. "I've got it! We can take him on a group vacation! We don't even have to fight monsters, if he doesn't want to. We can just go sightseeing! He hasn't left the Trigleph area in a long time right?"

Suddenly Leia jumped to her feet too, equally as excited. "Yeah! Jude hasn't been home to see his family in a long time either. We can visit Leronde. Everyone misses him."

"Oh, can we stop at Hamil too?" Elize asked, Teepo spinning about her excitedly chanting a song about travelling.

"Perhaps, it's all up to where Jude will want to go most, don't you think?" Rowen asked, even thought he had a feeling he knew what Jude's true reaction would be. _'He certainly won't take to leaving so suddenly kindly. Of course, once we were on the vacation he'd enjoy it, but making him leave is an entire other story...'_

"Um, yeah... And I suppose you guys want me to pay for all of this?" Alvin said, scratching the back of his neck, "Taking a trip around the world sounds nice but that would be expensive."

"We'll all split the costs evenly, now lighten up Alvin! Think about it! When's the last time we all got together to do something really cool and memorable with each other?" Elle pointed out.

Gaius looked thoughtful for a moment, and then said "Well, I suppose I can travel around for a while. I can even take care of seeing some things in other places for a while. I'll go too..."

"Alright! Then it's settled. We'll take Jude on a trip, just like old times. And when we do, we can make him feel better!" Elize said, clasping her hands together.

"There's just one problem." Alvin said in a serious tone, causing everyone to fall quiet and look at him, "What if it doesn't work?"

"What do you mean, what if it doesn't work? This is a great idea, and it could really help Jude!" Elize said, looking concerned again.

Teepo suddenly floated over to Alvin and gave him his angriest glare, "You're always killing the good mood! Stop it and be happy for once!" he shouted.

"Well I was just thinking... if Jude wanted to see us, why wouldn't he just come and see us sooner! Or for example, return any of Leia's calls," Alvin said, looking at Leia who just sighed in frustration, "What if Jude needs to, oh I don't know, meet some new people?"

"What the hell kind of idea is that!" Elle said more bluntly than her father ever would have, "If he's lonely, why don't WE just spend time with him? Aren't we good enough?"

"Yeah Alvin! I'm starting to get the feeling it's you that doesn't want to hang out with us!" Leia said, siding with Elle and Elize.

"That's not want I meant. I don't mean friends, I mean someone who is more than just a friend," Alvin tried to explain.

"You mean like a super-ultra-mega-best friend?!" Teepo asked, backing away from Alvin a little.

"No, that's not what I meant. I meant like, someone he could hook up with." Alvin explained, wondering if anyone else got his point.

"Oh you mean like a lady friend- Or, a not-lady friend..." Leia amended, almost certain Jude wan't into the 'feminine' type.

"Jude wants a lady friend, who's not a lady friend?" Teepo blurted confused.

"Um... I don't think we should be talking behind his back like this." Elize said suddenly growing uncomfortable, "I hated it when the girl's at my school used to do this..."

"She's right. We should respect Jude's privacy." Rowen agreed.

"Look, I'm not trying to sound like a gossiping school girl. I just think he needs to get over a certain someone, whoever that might be, and find a NEW certain someone. And we can still go on vacation, we just need to... set him up on a date. Get him out there. He needs to get involved with someone." Alvin said, almost resigning.

"Are you sure that's what's best for him?" Gaius suddenly asked, "He seems to be very dedicated to his research. It probably seems odd to a lady's man like you, but he probably enjoys spending his time indoors researching. There's nothing wrong with it. Not only does it make him happy, it's a huge contribution to the world as a whole."

"But... I thought Jude wasn't happy?" Elize said, certain that the older man was not in fact happy.

"From what Balan told me, he's not happy." Alvin countered.

"Well, he certainly did seem happy the day he won the Howe prize. But now..." Rowen's voice trailed off and his expression became thoughtful.

"COME ON!" Elle shouted suddenly, waving her arms about, "Whether he's happy or not, let's take him with us on a really fun trip around the world! It can't hurt right?" she said, and when no one had any anything to say in response she said, "Then it's settled, we're taking Jude, whether he wants to or not, on a trip around the world! First stop is Drellin- I've already decided."

"Wait what?" a voice said behind her.

Jude had walked into the room right as she was talking, his hair still dripping wet from his bath. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"We're going on a vacation, whether you want to or not!" Elle said, pointing a finger at him dramatically.

Jude looked dumbfounded for a moment before he shook his head with a sigh. "I was in the bath for no more than half an hour and this is what I return to?" Then he laughed, "What else should I have expected."

Teepo, who had returned to floating around Elize turned to look around to look at the others, "Are we still going to get him a not l-" Elize practically tackled the doll and clamped his mouth shut. They did NOT need to ask Jude that.

"Uh... what was that Teepo? I, er, couldn't really hear you." Jude wasn't really concerned about the fact that Elize had grabbed Teepo from midair- the two fought all the time. But it had sounded as if the doll had wanted to say something about Jude himself.

"I think now might be a good time for me to head to Trigleph and book an inn for us to stay in..." Elize said, still fighting the struggling Teepo, and adding quietly, "So we can't ask anymore questions because there's no time! So please, stop struggling."

"It seems it's getting late. How about we all meet back here tomorrow morning to plan our trip better? If that's alright with you Jude." Rowen asked.

"Sure, you can come back tomorrow. Even though I still didn't agree to going on this trip." he said, though he knew he didn't really have any choice in the matter. Once Elle put her mind to something, she couldn't usually be stopped.

"Alright, tomorrow then." Alvin said, standing up from his spot in one of the only chairs in the room, "I'll tell Balan that you're taking off more time from work."

Jude visibly cringed at the thought of missing work, and the others laughed. He really couldn't relax, could he?


	6. Chapter 6

**Pretty wordy chapter. It start to explain what's going on.**

* * *

><p>Ludger had fallen asleep, after the woman he had spoken with left. His body and mind, although healed, were still greatly exhausted. After the excitement of relearning his name wore off some, exhaustion began to pull him down. Although he still didn't know exactly where he was at, Ludger still felt safe. He wasn't sure why, but he also felt as if he could trust the woman who he had spoken with.<p>

He didn't know when it was he woke up, or how long he had slept. The man's eyes opened slowly; his eyelids felt very heavy, and he mostly wanted to go back to sleep. It was... the first time he had seen the room, he realized in a daze. The warm sunlight that had felt earlier was different now. The light was not coming out of the same window but was instead coming from the other side.

The room itself was fairly simple. Because Ludger was lying down he couldn't tell much, but most of he room seemed to by made from wood. The walls were a plain, white plaster. The bed sheets where pretty much the same clean white. The ceiling was knew and seemed unnaturally clean of cobwebs or the like. It was simple, but nice, in a kind of a way. It wasn't too overwhelming and it didn't worsen his headache-

_'Ugh... Where did this come from? I feel like my head's going to split open... Is it because I opened my eyes?'_ Ludger shut his eyes tightly and felt some of the pressure in his head ease. Maybe the light had created his headache.

It seemed like nothing else was going to happen; he still couldn't move his arms or legs. Ludger had just resolved to sleep more when he heard the door to his right open again. He opened his eyes quickly this time, surprised at the sudden noise. And immediately regretted it. The pain of his headache came back, but all at once. He probably would have moaned in pain, if he could have.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" a voice asked, the same woman from before, "I just came to see how you were doing. Listen, I know you don't know much right now but please just hold on for a little longer, alright?"

Ludger could barely hear her with his throbbing headache. He wondered if he saw her if he would remember her, or if she would jog any of his memories. Once the world stopped spinning though, he slowly glanced to look at her.

She was much taller than he expected. She seemed to loom over him- not in an exactly unfriendly way, but still intimidating. She had long blonde hair that fell down way past her waist. Part of here hair seemed green and stuck out a little more from her head. But it was the eyes that he remembered the most. They were a bright inhuman magenta. Those eyes seemed as if they could see straight past Ludger's body and even into his soul. This woman wasn't human. Was she a spirit?

"Hm? What are you staring at?" the woman/spirit asked.

Ludger of course did not, or rather, could not respond to her. But after a while she seemed to realize something. "Oh, that's right! I haven't introduced myself yet. Humans always like it better when someone introduces themselves. Alright then."

The woman cleared her throat and seemed to pull herself up higher, as if she meant to compose herself. "My name's Milla Maxwell, the lord of spirits. We've met before, if not on such great terms. It's nice to meet you, again."

It wasn't the 'lord of spirits' part that struck Ludger as odd, after all it would have to have been someone very powerful to pull him out of the nothingness that he was in. Assuming that it was her. But instead, the name itself puzzled him. He had met a Milla before, he was sure of it! But was it this Milla? Something wasn't entirely right with his feeling about the name 'Milla'. He felt like he knew someone else named Milla. Maybe she had a twin sister or something...?

"I would offer you something to eat or drink, but there's not a lot to eat or drink here in the spirit world." Milla said, looking away from Ludger and walking over to the window again, "Your body is being sustained by the energy here. For now. After all, it would have been pretty dangerous to just send you back immediately to the human world. I figured though, it's probably time to start explaining why we brought you back here, in the first place."

Ludger had been wondering that, himself. He really hoped that there hadn't been some kind of mistake and that they were going to send him back to that... _nothingness_. Milla sighed, "I'm sorry, I'm afraid your not back for a good reason, exactly. After all, such a feat is no simple task. Not even close. We're in trouble, you see. Let's start with that... Are you listening?"

Milla turned away from the window, looking to see if the other was paying attention. He was, even if it probably seemed like he couldn't pay attention at all. "Alright, here. I know you don't know a lot, but this is the basic rundown. There are basically spirits for all of the different elements that compose this planet. Humans and spirits coexist with each other, and help each other out. There's this spirit named Volt, he's the spirit of lightening. Well, Volt was using his power to create electricity for some of the humans. But, when Volt- for unknown reasons- decided not to work with them anymore, the humans captured him. Now this had happened a lot and the spirits are pretty fed up with all of this. So... they were going to start fighting with the humans. Again."

Milla let out a big sigh and her hands went up to rub her temples. Ludger wondered momentarily if she had a migraine, too. Well, she certainly wasn't alone in that. "Normally I'd just send someone to go and free Volt, but so far we can't seem to even find a trace of him. It's as if he's vanished without a trace. I can't go to the human world anymore... But that's why we need someone like you. Now that you're being restored, you'll be able to return to your world. For a while, at least." she practically whispered the last part, yet her eyes met Ludger's.

Ludger felt his stomach begin to become uneasy. _'Wait... after they're done with me, are they going to send me back into the nothingness? No way, no way can I go back there... She can't be serious.'_

"Now wait, I know what your thinking," the spirits said, walking over to were the man was laying, "I've made the deal not entirely terrible. I've made it so you don't have to go back to where you were. You just have to die at the end," she paused for a moment before she amended her words again, "I mean your soul will be able to move on into it's next stage of life. You can finally move on. See, this is better, right?"

Yes, it wasn't exactly grand, but anything was better than before. In fact, if he could move on, then he would get chances to do other things. This could turn into a wonderful opportunity. _'But what's the point of regaining my memories, if I'm just going to lose everything? Wouldn't it be less painful if I couldn't remember things? After all, what if I get attached to where I am? Or what if I remember my family or some friends? I would miss them, or I would want to go and see them. Or worse, if I ran into them and they suddenly remembered me. They would freak out! That could happen whether I have my memory or not. At least if I have my memory I could have a better chance of avoiding them and not causing a commotion. Leaving for the afterlife might be more painful, but it would be safer when I am on the planet if I did have my memories.'_

"I'm sorry, I know it's a lot to take in." Milla said with a sad smile on her face, "But I promise you that everything will be clearer soon. Well, I suppose I should let you get some rest."

Milla headed for the door again, her heavy boots the only sound on the wooden floors. "Listen, I really do hope you get better, Ludger. And I know everyone else would too. Take care, okay?"

And with that, she was gone. Leaving Ludger and his thoughts alone, to stew with each other for a long while.

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><p><strong>Kind of a shorter chapter, but I'm trying to be more frequent with updating.<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome.**


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